August 10th

Why does it feel like I'm not doing enough for you while you're working so hard for your final proff? Why am I feeling guilty? Because I am. 

Here's a small token of gratitude for still tolerating me, even though I can't stay up and give you company at the early hours of the day, even though I oversleep and fail to wish you the best for the exams. 

Thank you for being yourself my love. Thank you for accepting me.

You'll succeed in-sha-Allah. 

I want to end this letter with a slightly tweaked variant of Bukowski's "Going All the Way" 

If you’re going to try, go all the way.
Otherwise, don’t even start.

If you're going to try, go all the way.
This could mean losing friends, relatives and maybe even your mind.
It could mean not eating for three or four days.
It could mean sleepless nights.
It could mean derision, mockery, isolation.

Isolation is a gift.
All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it.

You will be alone with God, and the nights will flame with fire.

And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds.
And it will be better than anything else you can imagine.
There is no other feeling like that.

DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. All the way

You will ride life straight to perfect laughter.

It’s the only good fight there is.

Yours,